Discostress in London

Joe: "Ey, faty! It´s very boring here! Where is the funny Robocop Huth?"

Frank: "He was traded to Middelsborough, idiot!"

Joe: "Ok. And who´s the homosexual, crying guy with the bad hair-style there in the corner?"

Mourinho: "700 situps, joe!"

Joe: "But Sir, i didn´t mean you...!"

Mourinho: "1000 sit- and 500 push-ups, motherfucker!"

Joe: "YES SIR!"

Mourinho: "Now im bored! Where is the Clown?"

Frank: "Sir, he's over there in the Corner and counts the Gatorade-Bottles, It's the Guy with the "Narrenkappe"(sry, DAS kannst du nicht aussem Stehgreif 1:1 übersetzen...) on his head, Sir!"

Mourinho: "Nice, HEY YOU UGLYKRAUT, COME HERE! We're bored, I want to see a MC. Hehe."

Lackab: "Sör, yes Sör. "

Mourinho: Oasis. Best of Medley. Sing for me!

Lackab: Negodiv, sör! Ai only nöw se Puhdys, Schbörfröinde Stillör, Garod and Miggy Grausö!

Mourinho: What the Fuck you talkin´bout?!??!?

Joe: Kick him out, Coach. He sucks! I want my Robocopppp Huth back!

Terry: Shut up, Noname!

Del Horno: "I need Tippi for my Bunghole"

Mourinho: "Asier, you will now go to the Chief Abramowitch!"

Del Horno: "Yeah, hehe, He will give me TiPi!



Del Horno leaves the Room by putting his Jersey over his Head!



Mourinho:"So KRAUT go on! You will now do Oasis! Sing for me, you Son of an
algerian Terorismwhore!


*Lackab wirft sich auf Boden und hält sich mit beiden Händen sein linkes
Schienbein*


Carvalho: Wasn't me! For sure! Didn't touch him, Ref!

Lampard: Calm down, Conan. That's just his famous Gaylord-Shuffle. It's called "tarnkappen" or something like that...



...Meanwhile in the Locker-Room...



Gallas and Drogbert are sitting by a cup of Tea (order from Mr. M) and talking about the Decission to Change the Jersey-Numbers.


Drogbert: "Calm down Gallas my Friend, it's only a Number!"

Gallas: "ONLY A NUMBER (throws the shelskie-Porcelain straight at the Wall), It's not a fucking Number you nasty Son of an algerian tourist Bus, it's a fuckin' ATTITUDE!!!!!!"

Drogbert: "Oh, i never recognized that this means you so much (makes a lovly bling bling with his Eyes)!"

Gallas: "I will kick his fucking Ass, but i don't know how?"

Drogbert (with a nasty and well knowing smile on his lipps): "Do you know MORTAL COMBAT?"



Outside the Sky is getting darker....



Just at this Moment, Mourinhos mobile rings to the Melody of Oasis' "Fucking in the Bushes", Mourinho picks it up.


Mourinho: "YO it's me, who is there?"

Didi: "Haallöööööle, hier is the Sportdirektor from the Hamburger Socker
Club, my Name is Dietmar Beiersdorfer, who are you?"

Mourinho: "What da fuck??? HAMBURGER??? In England we call it "Quarter Pounder", you bitch"!


One Moment of Silence at the other End.....


Didi: "Ähm, ja, äh Yes Sir. Do I speak to Mr. Mourinho?"

Mourinho: "WORD!!!"

Didi: "Ok, nice to Meet you!"

Mourinho: "SUCKER!!! Get to the point, i´m the headcoach from FC Shelski and I have less Time to talk to NoNames, oh wait a Moment, the German has Problems with his Leatherpants"

Didi: ".........."

Mourinho: "Back, Man! Since the German is here i feal warm and i have the impression that he played the last 4 Years for the "Pussy Cat Dollclub". So
whats up in Quarter-Pounder-City?"

Didi: "It's called....ach egal! I want to Deal with you. We in Hamburg need a Stürmer, do you know what a Stürmer is?"

Mourinho:"....."

Didi: "Ok, let me explain it. Do you know Mustafa Kucukovic? He is a young, rising, wonderful Stürmertalent! He scored 2 Goals in 7 Bundesligamatches! I suggest you a trade! You give me Sheva + 5 and you can have Kucukovic! Ok, because it's you, my old friend, i give you Rene Klingbeil. Free! Ain't that a deal?!? Billo, billo!"

Mourinho: "Äh sorry didi, i ain´t got no time no more, the crazy german is doing something called "Wolle Petry". We have to leave the room immediately or he will kill us all! "

Didi: "Ja weisste Jose, du und ich wir machen da nen Deal, Stürmer verstehste wir beide gehen da als Gewinner raus und in Jahren wird man noch von dem Deal reden und dann, ja dann simmer mit den Großen perdu und der Hoeneß lädt uns zu seinem Geburtstag ein und ich sehe uns schon in Europa, Top Ten, verstehste, wir ziehen hier ein ganz großes Ding durch, du und ich, wir beide, da... Hallo? Hallo?"